I’m a big believer in giving kids ownership of their lives and allowing them to make decisions - even at a young age.
My daughter is only 3.5 years old, but I’ve always tried to allow her to have a say in what she/we do and how she/we do it.
That doesn’t mean she can do whatever she wants obviously.
That can be a fine line to walk, but I’ve learned how to do so effectively by presenting her with options within a set of boundaries.
For example, if she’s watching a video and it’s time to get dressed for school instead of saying “You need to get dressed now,” I’ll ask something like this:
“Do you want to get dressed now while you watch or should I turn off the video while you get dressed?”
It’s technically a choice she gets to make and she gets ownership of the decision, though she doesn’t get to choose not to get dressed for school.
It’s a subtle but really important difference that I’ve found makes everything much easier.
When kids feel ownership of their lives - when they feel like their input matters and they have some independence - you get a LOT less pushback and everything becomes easier.
It doesn’t always work of course (nothing in parenting does), but it makes 90% of things easier for everyone.
QUOTABLE
I think about this story of the Zen master and the little boy as told by Philip Seymour Hoffman in the movie Charlie Wilson’s War all the time.
It’s about life in general, but it certainly applies to parenting.
When it seems like something awful has happened, I try to remind myself: “We’ll see.”
JOSH RECOMMENDS
I use Workflowy every day and have for years.
It’s an incredibly simple app which is what I love about it - just a bunch of nested bulletpoints you can use however you want.
I use it for my to-do list, brainstorming, and anything else I want to jot down or organize.
For kids, I recommend Justin Time on YouTube.
My daughter loves it and I love that she loves it.
Each episode follows a group of kids on an adventure in a different historical location all over the world.
It’s led my 3-year-old daughter to say things like “I want a chocolate milk - shaken, not stirred,” know what a Zeppelin is, and know that Venice has canals and great pasta.
SHAMELESS PLUG
Hey — I'm Josh 👋
I share content strategy and creativity tips every day in my newsletter and on LinkedIn.
I also have a weekly music recommendations newsletter.
And I help people get more clients from their content through my membership.
FROM KC:
Special thanks to Josh for today's issue!
And thank YOU for supporting the 30 Days of Dads series.
If you enjoyed this issue, please:
- Forward it to a friend, or
- Send them to 30DaysofDads.com.
And remember...
Move your body.
Clear your mind.
Repeat.
Keep up the good work!
-KC
DAD JOKE 🔌
I’m (Josh) not a Dad joke kind of guy, but I am a huge comedy fan and used to work in the comedy industry.
So here’s one of my favorite Dad-related bits:
Cholo Soccer Dad by Al Madrigal
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