Give yourself some grace, Dad
Featured Dad: Pat Damiano​
With fatherhood just around the corner for me I have gotten a lot of advice from people (some solicited… much of it unsolicited haha).
One that has come up a good amount of times, and sticks out the most to me is “give yourself some grace”.
Fatherhood is hard, and you essentially get thrown into it with no instruction manual. From what I have heard and what I am expecting there is a lot of trial and error and wondering if you’re doing things the “right” way.
When in a scenario where the baby is nonstop crying, or spitting up, or not burping, or sprouting a mysterious rash etc. I’d imagine all you can think of is how much you “suck” at this and how you are doing everything wrong.
Pile that on top of every parent wanting nothing but the absolute best for their child…that’s a recipe for a lot of negative self talk and lack of confidence. Something no parent should be doing!
Because in reality it is just unrealistic expectations to expect to be perfect and have it all figured out in month 1.
I’ve been a fitness trainer for over 15 years, I wouldn’t expect someone to walk into the gym on their first day and have everything figured out… hell even after a year they’re still a rookie.
So coming from a former professional negative self talker… giving myself grace is the most profound piece of advice I have heard and something I am going to be working on more than anything as I enter this new role of fatherhood.
QUOTABLE
"I'm never happier than when I'm standing in the backyard being, like, a TV dad."
​- Anthony Bourdain
I’ve been reading The Daily Dad by Ryan Holiday recently and the passage the other day was a story about Anthony Bourdain and how he once explained that he was “never happier than when I’m standing in the backyard being, like, TV dad."
There was something so normal about having a normal family, standing in the backyard, wearing an apron, flipping burgers “when I find myself doing that…I am, like, ridiculously stupid happy.”
Through all the fame, travel and fortunes… that's where he was happiest.
PAT RECOMMENDS
A good notebook - write more with pen and paper. Whether it’s journaling, writing ideas, notes from a book you’re reading, writing emails etc.
Even if you never look at them again or do nothing with them it is one of the most therapeutic things I’ve learned to do.
(KC: my favorite journals are from Baronfig)
Also, read more fiction, shut your brain off from work and everything else around you. Try out Red Rising. It's the start of a great series and stands on it's own.
SHAMELESS PLUG
I’ve been a fitness trainer for over 15 years and the past 4 years have been spent getting people to build functional strength, conditioning and mobility using time efficient workouts from home.
I have a WHOLE lot of dads in my program and community who are tight on time and tired but getting it done with a few kettlebells from home!
Newsletter (and free 20 best kettlebell complexes):
​https://patdamiano.com/complexes/​
Program and community:
​https://www.skool.com/projectbellplex/about​
YouTube
​https://www.youtube.com/@patdamiano​
FROM KC:
Special thanks to Pat for today's issue!
And thank YOU for supporting the 30 Days of Dads series.
If you enjoyed this issue, please:
- Forward it to a friend, or
- Send them to 30DaysofDads.com.
And remember...
Move your body.
Clear your mind.
Repeat.
Keep up the good work!
-KC
DAD JOKE đź’Ş
Q: Why do kettlebells make the best friends?
A: Because they always lift you up.