The ancient proverb got it right when it comes to unexpected alliances.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Enough with the one-upmanship between parents. Stop trying to one-up the misery of your fellow moms and dads.
Misery loves company, not competition.
We are on the same frickin’ team!
We have a common enemy.
Your children are hellbent on your destruction
As much as you love your children, and they love you, they are hardwired to eliminate you from the earth.
Whether it’s the incessant questions, constant bickering with their siblings, messy rooms, cutting their own hair, drawing on the walls, throwing up next to the toilet, or knocking on your door at 4:45 AM on a Saturday, your children are your enemy.
Their mission objective is the break your sanity, dissolve your reasonability, melt your sense of reality, and wear you out.
And the onslaught is relentless.
Who is going to come to your defense?
Who is going to stand in your corner agains these adorable little terrorists who look share your last name?
Other parents, that’s who!
Knock off the comparison crap
When your buddy complains about waking up in the middle of the night with a crying baby, it’s not an invitation to recall the last time you stayed up all night with a sick kid vomiting their brains out.
Just say, “Sorry dude! I know that sucks. Been there.”
That is all any parent is looking for.
A little empathy, a little pity, and maybe a cup of coffee.
This isn’t a pissing contest, it’s survival of the fittest and our kids would vote us off the island in a heartbeat.
There is no right number of kids
And enough of the baby making competition. Congratulations on your reproductive capacity and choices.
You know what? The “right” number of kids is always the amount you have.
Maybe one less.
- Anyone without kids is cheating the system.
- Anyone with less kids than you has it easy.
- Anyone with more kids than you is weird.
I’ve got 4 kids and you know what, it’s awesome. And it’s also bat-crap bananas sometimes.
CONFESSION: I get a little jealous once in awhile of people with only 2 kids. And people with 5 or more kids make me feel uncomfortable.
But that’s my problem.
If you can’t have kids or you choose not to have kids, or you want to have a dozen kids and start your own HGTV show, more power to you.
We are Team Adults vs Team Kids all the same.
Remember your mouth guard.